An impossibly young me (I had to be in 8th grade when this pic was taken) watching two impossibly young girls kiss for the first time. They later admitted to be “faking it” (I’d hear that one all throughout high school and college), but the look on my face is utterly priceless. It was moments like these that made up for being called a fag for being in the drama club all those years. The cast parties always consisted of about two dozen girls with absent fathers…and me. Seemed like a no brainer.
Also, I just deleted a folder on this hard drive that I’m pretty sure had pictures of one of my high school exes in various states of undress…I didn’t check so I’m not entirely sure, but the folder was called “Roller Coaster Tycoon.” I never played Roller Coaster Tycoon, but was notorious for creating fake game folders to hide things. DELETE.
Not sure if you guys were even around for this shit, but when Facebook groups hit their nadir, there was a group for EVERYTHING. Including bad, Jeff Foxworthy-inspired jokes. I had one of those groups my freshman year of college that my roommate and I (both Long Islanders living in Rubin Hall at NYU) populated with the below. Most of it, sadly, does not make an ounce of sense anymore.
You Know You’re a Long Islander When…
You feel like you know Howard Stern.
You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you never go there.
When you’re away from Long Island, you love it. When you’re there, you don’t.
You know that the beach sucks during the day and is the most magical place in the world at night.
You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.
You’re still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut.
You’ve tried to use your father’s monthly ticket to ride the LIRR. It worked.
(LIRR = Long Island Rail Road to the unenlightened.)
You’d pay $8.75 for a movie.
No matter what you do, you end up at the diner.
Your distant future might involve the state of Florida.
You’ve never really fully evaluated the meaning of the name Hicksville.
High school sports aren’t that important.
You know where the Commack Motor Inn is, but you “have never been there.”
You’ve never been to Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
You’ve tried to find the Amityville Horror house.
You’ve driven around endlessly and always manage to find your way home.
You complain about the increasing amount of malls, yet you shop at them all anyway.
Each one of your diverse friends mercilessly makes fun of his own background.
You love that salty smell of the ocean.
When someone says, “What are we doing tonight?”, you know you will be visiting the ATM at some point.
You know that the ocean makes everything a little better.
You are proud of where you come from when it comes down to it.
For the most part you’re inconsiderate and you think that people love you for it.
You can call yourself a Long Islander, but you have little interest in doing so. Then you leave and you are Mr. or Ms. Long Islander!
You have no interest in or knowledge of country music.
No! You don’t want mustard on that burger!
How many times can YOU use the word “like” in a sentence?
The most exciting day of your summer is when all tickets to every Jones Beach show go on sale.
You went to an elementary school that promoted dodge ball as the number one game among children 7-13.
You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food sucks, but periodically you “Get the crave”.
You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan.
You’ve never taken an MTA bus.
You felt slighted when Snapple sold out.
You don’t associate Fire Island with gay men.
If you wanted to, you’ve met Bobby Nystrom.
You wanted Hooters to open simply to piss off “decency groups”.
You watched a game show and wondered, “Why are these people so happy that they won a trip to New York?”
You always remark, “Boy it would be cool to see Letterman.” You do nothing to achieve that goal.
You are successful in avoiding Regis and Kathy Lee.
You’re real cynical.
You like the Brother’s McMullen.
You’ve always thought Eddie Murphy was from Long Island but weren’t quite sure.
When you hear Billy Joel’s “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” you try to figure out what places on Long Island he’s talking about.
You know that parts of the Godfather were filmed on LI.
You’ve said stupid things like “Strong Island”.
You’ve paid a $10 cover charge to get into a bar, but got nothing for it.
You think religion doesn’t affect you much.
You miss wiffle ball and running through sprinklers.
You always liked Billy Joel, but as soon as you leave, you love Billy Joel.
You think that Jones Beach Theater is the best place to see a concert.
Billy Joel said it best, “Either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore.”
(For future reference, I am from the south shore.)
You don’t see the big deal about the Hamptons.
You think if you’re not from Long Island or NYC, you’re not really from New York.
You don’t go to “Manhattan”, you go to “The City”.
You never realize you have an accent until you leave.
At some point in your life, you’ve gone clamming.
You curse. A lot.
If your parents didn’t, your grandparents lived in the city.
At some point in your life, you or someone you know has gotten an animal that came from the North Shore Animal League.
My 9th grade songwriting skills were not up to par in any definition of the word. And A7 is not an Amaj7 chord, but literally a barre chord on the A string, 7th fret. I should have taken lessons or at least waited to take music theory. Also, emo much?
There is a four letter word (A7)
I often hear (A3, A5, A7)
It’s a dirty word (A7)
That some hold dear. (A3, A5, A7)
It is used to express (A3)
All sorts of crap (E3)
But really all it is (A5)
Is a preverbal trap. (E5)
It’s Love. (A7)
L-O-V-E (A7, A5, A3, A5)
Love. (A7)
It pains me to hear (A7)
All the people say. (A3, A5, A7)
It’s never really meant (A7)
It’s only used for play (A3, A5, A7)
Guys use it (A3)
To get in the sack (E3)
The girls start wooing (A5)
But there is no fact. (E5)
It’s Love. (A7)
L-O-V-E. (A7, A5, A3, A5)
Love. (A7)
{SOLO}
It’s regular meaning (A3)
Is always crossed. (E3)
But when its to late, (A5)
You’ve already lost. (E5)
It’s Love. (A7)
L-O-V-E. (A7, A5, A3, A5)
Love. (A7)
Its Love. (A7)
L-O-V-E. (A7, A5, A3, A5)
Love. (A7)
It’s Love. (A7)
It is Love. (A7, A9, A7)
Found an old hard drive that has my Compaq from HS backed up on it, so instead of doing laundry this morning I’ll be doing a data dump onto my Tumblr and Timeline. Enjoy.
Orell and Del Slay Manhattan, coming this fall to BravoHD
thefridaynightstudent.
procrastinating - a night like any other. i don’t take this photo out of vanity, but mere curiosity i know i’ll feel in the future. it’s strange to see the pictures i took on here months and months ago. years, even.
i’ve been rekindling friendships. i guess i’m feeling nostalgic. i guess i finally have time to feel nostalgic. there are some things i never want to go back to. and when i swear to myself not to think about it, i open the box of evil and it plagues my mind.
it used to bother me…being left at home on a friday night, that is. i don’t know why. it’s a nice time i have to myself. few texts to bother responding to, few obligations but healing myself. it’s important to allot time for this every week.
i think i am going to paint tomorrow at art. i want to release my inhibitions and paint like a child. i want to ignore the presumed form of the human body, i want to just have fun and create an emotional painting. i’m tired of academia.
i don’t know what the point of this post is, besides mindless amusement for myself as i try to lull myself into thinking i have someone besides myself right now.
My sister, though nearly 7 years younger than me, has oddly the same attitude towards Friday night at 18 that I have now. Not sure what that says about either of us.
LOL.
(Source: billieisaguysname)
“The 2-person company solves a big problem for more financially secure couples, and especially guys who are often tasked with impressing their significant others. These couples have the money to spend on the occasional big night out, but don’t have the time or creativity to plan memorable dates.” —
If we held a competition on eroding the value of social gestures, this one would do well. More on this earlier.
If you need a service to plan your dates, your relationship has bigger issues than needing a service to plan your dates.
Oh Yeah Facts: Reseach suggests two narcissists are better than one. -
For many years psychologists have explored whether narcissism and creativity are linked, and some studies have suggested that the self-obsessed may, in fact, be more creative than the rest of us. But 2011 research from Cornell University argues otherwise.
Researchers then paired 292…
(Source: psychologytoday.com, via ohyeahfacts)
The videos from last week were no joke. There is a LOT of crying in this funeral clip. A LOT, from the announcer on down. Good luck trying to parse this, Americans.
The whole “If you don’t cry we’ll shoot you” thing usually works.
Was it just me, or did some of those North Koreans look like they were crying tears of happiness? If you watch it that way, the whole thing seems rather ridiculous.