My name is James. James Del actually. I work at a place called Gawker Media, something I find myself explaining to my parents every time I see them. They'll get it one day. I don't believe in Twitter, but I do believe in Facebook and LinkedIn. There's a Myspace page out there too, but never mind that. Questions, concerns, and comments can be directed to James, At-Sign Gawker, Period Com.
I have learned to control what comes out of my mouth (sometimes).
- Me: AhhhhhCHOO.
- Co-worker: God Bless you!
- Me (internally): COME ON. We are all products of billions of years of evolution and mutation, and it just so happens that one evolutionary trait we've inherited is a sneeze reflex when something gets into our respiratory tract that isn't supposed to be there. This has nothing to do with a greater power, and suggesting otherwise is mental. IN FACT! If there was a God, I'm positive his concerns are much larger than my sneezing. So save it, you don't need to waste your God's time by requesting he bless me every time I accidentally stare into the LED light above my desk.
- Me (to coworker): Thanks.
Good GOD do I love a good pun.
I’d like to take this moment to issue a sternly worded assault on Time Warner Cable and the MSG Network. Please bear with.
Dear Time Warner & MSG,
Go fuck yourselves. I know, harsh open. Especially considering you’re just big dumb corporate entities looking to satiate stockholders and advertisers, and that’s not your fault. By your very nature you were designed to fuck consumers, because fucking consumers is one of the easiest ways to make money if you’re a big corporate behemoth like yourselves. But for once, I ask that you take a moment and think about what it is you’re doing to the people who rely on you. Because of your hunger for profits, I’ve had to cheer on my childhood team—a team that was unwatchable (irony!) from 2001 until last week—from afar. Newspapers, blogs, Youtube clips, and that one time TNT was broadcasting the game…that’s all I know of this Lin character. One time, the Knicks were listed as being on the NBA Network on the channel guide. Oh! How exciting that day was! Until I tried to watch the game, and instead was met with a blackout notice. A FUCKING BLACKOUT NOTICE FOR THE NEW YORK KNICKERBOCKERS.
This is simply unacceptable. I care far too much, and already pay more money for cable than I pay for my cellphone and my electricity (two things I need about 1000x more than I need cable). But frankly, at this point I could give two shits. I know that at the end of this thing, I’m going to be the one who gets screwed. Time Warner claims they’re negotiating for me, so that I don’t have to pay a higher cable bill. Well guess what, asshats? You already charge me around $170 a month. Tacking on another $4 to that is not going to break my heart. And MSG…oh, MSG. You’re not free from blame here either. You know you’re asking for more money than ESPN? Did you? I bet you did. I bet you also know that your programming beyond Knicks and Rangers games is abysmal, except when you play that movie about Meatloaf (starring Meatloaf) or that Foo Fighters concert. Other than that…?
Oh yes, you provide me access to Lin now. So you know what? Charge whatever the hell you’d like. I don’t care anymore. Like many of the other 2 million people in this city who haven’t had the pleasure of seeing Lin win a game, I am now a shell of a person. Even if service is restored tonight, I will forever associate Lin’s meteoric rise with not being able to watch a single fucking game. You know what I did the other night? I watched the Utah Jazz play the LA Clippers. That’s how low I’ve sunk. You have won, corporations, so please just go ahead and fuck me however hard you’d like. My eyes have that glazed, empty void that’s only seen in strip clubs and war zones, so just do whatever it is you’re going to do with me and let’s be done with it.
Just please let me watch Lin.
Warmly,
JD
I was trying to make fun of hipster band names in an email earlier, and listed Sbtrkt as a perfect case study in hipster naming conventions. I had never heard ‘em before, but after the naming diss I felt like I at least owed them a listen.
It’s weird shit, but in a “I-grew-up-playing-video-games-so-8bit-music-has-a-special-place-in-my-heart” kind of way.
I often have the urge to do this in meetings (and frequently do, in barely nicer terms).
(Source: bartletsquotations)
He is Dan Kaufman, Dan Kay, Dan Katze. He is a celebrity chef, an internet entrepreneur, a television producer. He has worked for Apple, Google, AOL, the Rainbow Room.
Except he’s not. Excellent story.
I have written two books, and you can order than now. They’re printed in Moleskine type journals and look amazing; also, handmade in Brooklyn. Very big thanks to Amanda White and everyone at 8-Bit for making this happen. Please reblog and spread the word!
With love,N
I am not a person who reads “books.” I read stories, articles, autobiographies, blogs, essays, op-eds and plays, but seldom do I pick up a leather bound bundle of paper with words on them. The Kindle store is just too damn convenient.
That being said, I am going to read the shit out of one (or maybe both) of these pieces of literature, and I highly suggest you do the same.
First and Last YM Dispatch from Social Media Week
“Host asked who reads Mediaite. In a room of 200, only one person raised hand.”
